Under my Skin
by Kaedwen
Summary: Her innocence was lost, killed at the age of fourteen, along with her parents, dreams and free will. When the tears dried there was not much left of the Kitty Pryde we knew. But maybe, just maybe, she is still lingering down there, behind the lies. Kurty.


Um, hi again Didn't see this coming did you? Well, quite recently X-men: Evolution caught my attention and I've been reading alot of fanfiction on the subject. Now I decided to write one of my own. I'm still new to x-men and all so please correct me if you see some mayor mistakes. I'm aware of the fact that both characters will be acting occ but to fit my plot they'll have to. At least in the beginning.

For the next couple of chapters I will be needing a beta reader and If anyone is interested then send me an email.

Disclaimer: I own nothing _-sobs-_

Pairing: Kurt/Kitty (Kurty!)

**Please leave me a review, so long as you don't flame the whole thing I'll be happy.**

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_**Part 1**_

_14 year old Katherine Pryde stared in shock at her parents, she couldn't believe them. They were scared, they drew away from her and their thoughts were written across their faces. Her sight blurred as tears filled her eyes; of all people she thought that they would understand, that they would love her anyway. For god's sake, she was their daughter! It shouldn't matter! Their job was to comfort her, tell her that everything was going to be alright and that there was nothing wrong with her. Instead they stared at her, awestruck and afraid, as if she were to harm them. They must have felt guilty when they saw her reaction to their behaviour because her mother tried to smooth the situation over._

_"Kitty, darling...it's not that...that. We're not afraid of you, it's just...what you can do...Darling, you have to understand. We never thought that our daughter would be...affected by this...this...illness. We love you, but..."_

_Kitty could not bear to hear it anymore, suppressing the urge to fall to her knees and cry right on the spot she turned her back to them and ran, up the stairs and into her room, not bothering to open it in the process. Curling up at the foot of her bed she stopped trying to force the tears back. They hated her, they feared her, she should have known. She should have kept her powers a secret, but she had truly thought they would understand. Understand and accept and love her anyway. Illness her mother had said. Her powers weren't a sickness, she was fine! Or was she? Darker thoughts crept under her skin no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. Was she really sick? Or was it more; was she one of those freaks they showed at circuses? No! She refused to be that, she was normal. _

_"Please let me be normal."_

_Kitty whispered through her sniffles, praying that she would wake up from this nightmare. Praying this was all a dream and everything would be fine in the morning. But no matter how hard she tried to believe it, she knew it wasn't a dream. It was the bitter reality. _

_---_

_They had tried to act like parents should. They tried to show their affection, tried to convince her that their reactions had been in the spur of the moment. That they loved her and the shock had worn of. But Kitty knew so much better. She saw them pull away from her; she saw the shimmering fear hiding in their eyes. Their lies hurt her more than their actual fear did. Every time she came into the room they flinched before putting on fake smiles again. She had been so close to them before, they had been almost like best friends and their betrayal cut her deeper than she had ever imagined. Why did it have to hurt? _

_Over time she thought that she got over them, shielding her heart from them and in the end it didn't hurt so much when their fear surfaced. She even played with the thought that it would be better to be without them. Soon however, she regretted that thought. _

_Her parents were killed in a car crash that sent them flying off a bridge, had the crash itself not killed them then they unavoidably drowned it the dark water beneath. It had all looked like an accident but Kitty soon learned better. The night after the funeral strange people appeared at her doorstep, her aunt was sleeping and Kitty had snuck down so as not to concern the older lady with her tears. The men spoke with her, told her that they knew of her powers and offered her a place to stay with people like her. Mutants. The word made her shudder; mutants appeared on the news every now and then, all pictured like murderers and maniacs. That was probably the main reason to her parents' distrust and dislike. Kitty decided to go with them, bringing nothing with her after they had assured that there were clothes to borrow and that she could come back later to get things that she missed. Her hope for a sanctuary was great enough for her to overlook some leaks in their story. _

_She soon grew to regret her leaving. There was no safe haven waiting for her. Instead she was introduced to an underground world of threats and torture. The man in charge called himself Oliver, a sweet name but oh so false. There was nothing sweet over either his features or his personality. Tall and lankily build with a fake smile plastered across his face at all time, a smile that with ease turned into a sneer or a smirk. At first he tried to offer her a job where even the profession name made her shudder. Assassination. Kitty politely declined but that caused him merely to laugh. _

_"Follow me."_

_He had said in a calm voice yet with so much pressure under the surface she had no other choice but obey. The heavily armed guards were another factor that kept her put._

_Without another word he led her into a small room with spyglass across the wall. She was on the right side though, she could see through it and what she saw was so terrible that she was left speechless. A boy, barely older than herself was chained to the wall. His appearance was nothing she registered; it was the look on his face. Traces of pain, terror and panic that had grown into a bitter acceptance. Dozens of cuts covered his bare body, the only clothing he wore were a pair of boxers. Scarred and with several burn marks all over, not even his face had been spared. Kitty's eyes were wide with sympathy for the boy and fear for the man at her side. She turned her look to him, unable to speak. He merely smiled, as if to him it mattered no more than a fly._

_"This mutant is so strong he can carry up to a ton of weight, he should be able to break those chains in a heartbeat."_

_The unspoken question was written in her eyes as he pulled out a small injection, filled to the top with a blue liquid. She was too paralyzed to move and it didn't even strike her mind to phase through him as he took her arm and injected it into her bloodstream. A tingling sensation filled her body, if possible scaring her even more. Oliver smirked again. _

_"Find out for yourself what it does," looking at the guards standing by the door he added, "get her into the cell," and then he left._

_The paralyze let go of its grip and as one of the guards grabbed for her arm she instantly phased. Or at least she thought she did. Panic and confusion rushed through her as she realized what he had done to her. The grip did not loosen and a few moments later she found herself in the same cold cell as the boy. _

_He was too tired to acknowledge her and she could do nothing but break down into tears. Crawling into a corner she wrapped her arms around her legs and hid her face from view. She couldn't phase. He had taken her powers away and she had had no idea how much it hurt until it happened. It wasn't mostly the lack of powers that kept her crying though. It was the knowledge that he would control her. It struck her now that he must be a mutant, if anyone else had attempted to force a needle through her skin she would have phased. In his presence however, it had been impossible. She would have no other choice but to obey him. _

_A voice broke through her thoughts, his voice, broken and full of hurt._

_"Don't cry gal, you ain't the tortured one yet."_

_Kitty looked at him, pausing her tears for a second before once again giving in. There was a sigh from his side._

_"Look, it's just gonna get worse so save it."_

_She tried to dry her tears but failed miserably. Her sight was poor but after have fought back the tears for a few more moments she could see him quite clearly again. His stormy grey eyes were fixed at her and a bitter smile fluttered across his sore lips. _

_"That's better."_

_Kitty didn't feel like arguing with him even though she strongly disagreed. It hurt to look at him, to see the wounds that covered his body and know that there was nothing she could do to help. He must have read her thoughts because a moment later he spoke again, obviously trying to comfort her._

_"Don't feel sorry for me gal, you'd be better off feeling nothing at all."_

_Her eyes widened a little, there was something he knew and she wanted to know what it was. However her voice refused to bring forth a sound and he either didn't notice the question in her eyes or he simply ignored it. She was bound to find out soon anyway. _

_---_

_About an hour later the door swung open and Oliver, accompanied by two guards, stepped in. Kitty withdrew even more into the corner she had adopted and the boy, having introduced himself as Bones, spat on the floor in front of him. Oliver ignored the boy and turned his gaze to the broken girl in the corner instead. She was trembling slightly and hid her face in a pathetic attempt to go invisible._

_"Uncomfortable feeling isn't it," he stated slowly._

_Kitty shot him a glare; he took it with another smile. Those smiles he seemed to have a lot of, each as impersonal and emotionless as the one before. _

_"So you do have a bit of a backbone after all. Good."_

_He plucked a knife from his belt and threw it on the floor in front of her, Kitty merely stared at it, and then back at him. What was going on?_

_"Kill him."_

_Oliver said coolly, as if they were talking about the weather. Her eyes grew wide and she violently shook her head. A frown settled across his face, scaring her more than his smile did. When he spoke again there was a hint of ice is his voice._

_"That was an order."_

_When she still refused to even look at the knife Oliver smirked, catching her of guard once again._

_"I'll give you three options girl; first of them is to kill him and accept your place as my employee. Second you use that knife to put out your own miserable life. Third I will allow any man in my guard to do whatever he pleases with you before I kill you myself. Am I clear?"_

_Her eyes were wide open, reluctant to all of the options. She refused to be a murderer, but neither was she able to commit suicide and the third "offer", rape followed by death, was out of the question. Oliver stared at her, eyes cold, growing impatient he spoke again._

_"We're waiting."_

_Slowly, reluctantly Kitty extended her hand, feeling nauseous as the blade touched her skin. She gripped it, silently rose to her feet and walked over to the boy in chains. He was looking at her, eyes lacking all expression. He was going to die anyway, by her hand or anyone else's did not matter. Her jaws clenched, her grip of the knife tightened and as their eyes connected she whispered in a small voice:_

_"I'm so sorry."_

_Then she stabbed at him, hoping to make it as quick and painless as possible._

_And if by any chance she had any left, all innocence was lost at that second. _

_---_

_**Part 2**_

_Abandoned at birth, swept away by strong waters and found by the circus running Wagner's, Kurt's story was indeed incredible and looking back he could hardly believe his own luck. His mutation had been quite obvious even then, but the Wagner's had no children and took him in spite of his strange appearance. The circus became his home; he travelled with them and was raised by all of the members while Mrs. Wagner acted like his foster mother. _

_At the circus he became an advanced acrobat and even at the age of eight he enjoyed to blow the crowd away with to humans impossible stunts and tricks in the air. The audience, however, were lead to believe that his strange appearance was due to some costume. The name Nightcrawler came in use and it was actually Kurt himself who invented it, in his sense it sounded cooler than simply Kurt Wagner. _

_At the age of 14 his powers surfaced, mainly because he caught the flew and started "sneeze-bamfing". Of course it was scary, both to him and his parents; they even had to cancel Kurt's performances due to the fact that he couldn't stay in one place for more than fifteen minutes. As he recovered though Kurt realized that he could actually control his "bamfing" and couldn't help but think of all the ways he could use it. The audience would be amazed and it would totally make up for the cancelled shows this summer. _

_He practiced all through the winter, learned to measure distances with his eye and where his limitations lay. When spring arrived and the travelling circus began their yearly tour through Germany again he was ready. The crowds were awestruck by his new talents and they allowed themselves to be swept away by his disappearing from one place and reappearing someplace completely different. They never even considered the possibility that there was more to it than regular stunts and tricks._

_Thanks to Kurt every show was full of people ready to be amazed. The rumours of the incredible Nightcrawler had spread all over the world, now attracting more attention than what was healthy. Under the ground things were stirring, whispers of this Nightcrawler with the ability to 'port from place to place. How useful would not he be?_

_---_

_Two years past before Kurt realized that his newfound power did not mean one-sided joy. The first thing he noticed that should have made him suspicious was the fact that he was being stalked. Whenever he stepped outside his tent it felt like a hundred invisible eyes were watching his every step. To begin with he shrugged away the feeling, but when he almost got snared into a trap he realized that someone wanted to capture him. He increased his security, never leaving the camp alone and always thinking before taking a step. But all this hiding got to him, he grew jumpy and his family started to wonder. _

_After having avoided the questions for months his mother pulled him aside in a manner that made it impossible for him to refuse. She stared at him for a good ten minutes before speaking._

"_What is going on Kurt?"_

_He intended to shrug away the questions but before he could her gaze sharpened and there was a hurt piece in her eyes._

"_Don't tell me you're fine, everyone knows you're not. Why do you not trust me enough to share the matter bothering you?"_

_Kurt sighed, all thoughts of keeping this information from her were washed away and he told her. Reluctant at first but then more willingly as he felt a part of the pressure over his heart lighten._

"_There is someone, many someones that are following me. I do not know what they want but…I fear their intentions are far from getting an autograph."_

_Just like Kurt, trying to pull in a joke to lighten up the case. His mothers stare did not cease and he sighed before he continued, his voice smaller than he meant for it to be._

"_I think they know mother, I think they know who I am – what I am."_

_She was silent for a long while, obviously deep in thought. Kurt did not break the silence, if someone would know what to do it was his mother. He just had to give her some time to think about it before a solution came to mind. _

"_This has been going on for a long while?"_

_Kurt nodded and added:_

"_Two years I think, ever since I learnt how to bamf."_

_Silence fell again and remained for almost twenty minutes. When his mother met his intense gaze again her eyes were sad and Kurt was not sure if he wanted to listen to what she had to say._

"_If it has been going on for so long, then I fear that they will not give up. This circus has a defined route, everyone knows where we are and when. Your only option is to run."_

_He hadn't wanted to run; it wasn't in his nature to leave those he loved behind. They had accepted him! The other few people he had met had screamed and fled; they had called him a demon, a devil. They had cursed him, tried to send him back to hell. Of course it had hurt that they thought of him that way. That the only place he was accepted was at a circus. But he grew to think that people outside it did not matter. It was family that mattered, nothing else. But now he had no choice but to abandon them. _

_---_

_Another two years later and Kurt Wagner was damn sick of running. He hadn't seen his parents since the day he had left, his mother having warned him that his followers would be expecting it and have a trap ready for him if he returned. The years had worn him out more than he thought was possible because even now, as he was moving from one place to another they kept finding him. It was clear that the orders were to take him alive, more than once he had been forced to remove small injections of some drug. A drug that left him tired for the rest of the day. Fortunately they had never found him when he was in such a state. More luck than anything else._

_But sometime his luck was bound to run out, and it did. The injections that hit him must have been stronger than the usual ones, leaving him completely unable to teleport and causing him to fall unconscious to the ground. The last thing he remembered was a sour remark he had heard all too often lately._

"_Damn, he really does look like a demon."_

_Followed by:_

"_Shut up Chris, we gotta get him into the cell before the drug wears off."_

_Then all went black._

_---_

_As Kurt slowly returned to consciousness he realized two things. One, it was damn cold and two, the floor was really hard and uncomfortable. Blinking a couple of times to get the rest of the sleepiness away he also realized he was not alone in the room. _

"_How kind of you to join us Nightcrawler, you were one hard piece to catch." _

_Kurt was up on his feet in the matter of a second, only to realize that his teleportation skill was still a mess. Not understanding why he felt how the uncertainty grew within and he glared at the man, willing him to go away. _

"_Harder than I had expected, but that just makes you all the more precious. A bit too old for my taste maybe, it would have been better to catch you at the age of fourteen. But hey, a little experience of the outside world can hardly hurt."_

_Kurt just stared at him, wondering what the hell was going on. The way the man looked at him, the way he talked and the way he smiled was so frustrating he knew not what to do. _

"_Your…strange appearance could prove to be a little backstabbing, but I think we can fix that. And since you'll be working during the night I don't think anyone will see you anyway."_

_Kurt chocked on air and the man politely waited until he was done before continuing. He meant to speak but found himself unable to, so the man continued._

_"I'm going to straighten things up for you, before you try and refuse. Your beloved parents, they work at that circus..."_

_A picture was handed him, a photograph of his parents. The date note was not long ago, just a couple of days and Kurt's heart raced. He didn't understand, didn't want to understand. Looking at the man again he shook his head, playing dumb. _

_"Follow my orders and they will be fine, break them..."_

_The threat was left hanging as the man got to his feet, made a fake bow in Kurt's direction and added._

_"Oliver, your new boss. Try and 'port out of here and they'll be dead within five minutes."_

_Kurt recoiled and hissed a curse in German as the man left the room along with the two guards that had been present. Noticing a bed in one corner Kurt made his way over to it and curled up at the head of it. It was so unreal, he didn't believe it. He refused to believe it. This could not be happening. But it was, however much he wished it wasn't this was reality. _

_And he had to deal with it._

_The question was what he was going to have to do._

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